Online Dating: Not the Last Resort and isn’t for losers or people who couldn’t find a partner otherwise, I don’t care what some of the criticisms are. Usually, it’s the guy who ended up married to his small-town high-school sweetheart that barks out, “Internet sites don’t work!” You know this guy. He’s the one who’s never been out of his hometown. He’s the one who sits in the bar, deeply depressed, wishing secretly that his life turned out different. Yeah, to be truthful, the people who decide to try Inter-dating are the real risk takers. They’re the ones who throw caution to the wind and decide that meeting someone outside of their own little bubble may be the key to true happiness. Let those small-town sweethearts pretend.

Never let anyone convince you that joining a dating site is the last resort. What’s so desperate about wanting to meet a good, sane, solid person who shares your wishes, values, hopes and dreams? What’s so crazy about wanting to be happy? Your membership on a site should never make you feel embarrassed, nor should you ever hide it away. You’ve finally taken a step forward in your life by deciding that you’re ready for some serious happiness. And don’t worry; it’s on its way.

There are millions of people just like you who are signing up and creating profiles every day. The Web enables people from every corner of the world to stay in touch. It only stands to reason that the Web is also the perfect tool to help people meet and fall in love. A person looking for true happiness would seriously be remiss if they didn’t at least attempt to fill out a profile. Like you’ve heard your entire life, you never know unless you try. And it’s not like you’ll be committed to the first person you see here. Once you take the plunge and try out a dating service, you’re in complete control of everything that happens next.

The first thing you’ll have to do is answer a serious of questions. Yes, these questions can be extremely tedious. By the time you’re on the 6th page of questions, you’ll feel like pressing anything just to be done with it. After you flip through a few pages, you’ll find a lot of the questions are very similar to previous questions. But you should never skip a single question, much less the entire questionnaire. The idea here is to build your personality profile so you can be correctly matched with someone who shares your same personality and values. The more extensive your questions are the better chance you have at finding your perfect match.

The people who create these dating sites don’t just blindly throw a bunch of people into the pool and expect everyone to be compatible. Most site founders have extensive knowledge on relationships, and do even more extensive research on how personalities play off of one another. When a site gives you a match in your mailbox, it’s a good idea to think about contacting this person. They might not look like the person of your dreams, but if you’re serious about finding a lasting relationship, you won’t succumb to those superficial values.

The atmosphere at most dating sites is super friendly. You’ll find that it’s easy to send a shout to someone you may be interested in. And if you’re lucky, they’ll get back to you and you can start getting to know each other. You can also venture outside of your personality and find someone based on your own criteria. But if you’re smart, you’ll let the experts nudge you in the right direction.   Back

Practice Makes Perfect and the dating game is one that almost everyone plays, but few rarely win their first go ‘round. From the time we’re old enough to date, the majority of us usually have on-again-off-again relations with our not-so-significant others. We feel like we’re in love and it will last a lifetime, only to have it all end the next day without one tear being shed. And by the time we’re adults, most of us really have no desire to go through these motions all over again. It’s time to get serious. Not necessarily a “settle down” relationship, but something that’s real and has substance. To avoid the same lame dating game, many people flock to the Internet and try their hand at a dating site.

Dating sites have been turning perfect strangers into married couples for years now. Every day, a new couple takes their vows and writes a thank you letter to the dating site that made it all possible. Lord knows that there are plenty of other ways to meet someone, but the setup of an online site has a certain quality about it that ensures you’re getting a look at the future before diving in blindly. Ironically, the separation rate for couples who met through dating sites is amazingly lower than couples who met through conventional means, per scale. There are many advantages to Inter-dating, but let’s touch on a select few:

1. The first advantage is something I like to call the interview process. Instead of meeting in person and letting a physical attraction possibly coax you into something that you’ll regret, the informal style of Internet chat has a certain charm that can easily prove to be priceless. By using only words, a person is unknowingly forced to put something extra into the upstart relationship. You find yourself saying things you normally only think. And even better, you have time to think before you type, instead of inserting your foot directly into your mouth.

2. The next advantage is the waiting period. In the 1800s and early 1900s, marriages were truly sacred. Some would argue that pure faith and fear of wrath and ridicule kept unhappily wedded couples together in miserable matrimony, but it’s more than likely due to the customs of the times. Couples courted at length before taking the ultimate step. Two people would learn about each other. They would grow fond of one another, despite any faults. With online dating, you have a mock version of this. You’re waiting until you feel its right. And by the time you meet, the two of your know what you’re in for.

3. This next advantage is seriously priceless. Also, it may seem a little cold hearted to people. But let’s say that you and your fling have a serious fight and decide that meeting isn’t the right step. Hey, it happens thousands of times per day. Well, the majority of online couples aren’t in love before a meeting, so this avoids any prolonged hurt. If you find you and your potential partner aren’t right for one another, you can chock it up to experience and cut your losses.

4. The last advantage of online dating sites has to do options. Entertaining conversations with a few members of your choice sure beats speed dating or being set up by your friends. You’re actually in control and get to pick and choose your partner based on what you want.

There are many more advantages to using a dating site, but in reality, any situation is only as good as you make it. If you’re serious about wanting to meet someone and make a relationship work, the odds suggest that you’ll find someone you’re compatible with via a dating site.   Back

Always Trust Yourself  and no amount of school can prepare you for some things in life. No matter how many father-son/mother-daughter talks you have when growing up, nothing sets you up for relationships with other people. With this aspect of your adult life, you’re forced to live and learn like everyone else. But the one thing you should remember is that you’re always in control of the situation. This fact is especially true in the world of online dating. If you’ve met that potentially special someone, and are ready to proceed to the next step, your past relationships may be weighing you down. Try to remember to always trust yourself.

One of the biggest fears associated with a new relationship is that it’s going to mimic your past relationship. When you meet someone from a dating site, this fear is intensified even more. You have a firm grip on exactly who they are as a person. You know this person’s habits, hobbies, likes, dislikes, musical tastes, food preferences, etc. But what you don’t know – what you can never begin to plan for is how they will be in person. If your previous partner was overbearing or jealous you may begin to attribute these traits to your new partner unfairly.

The first thing you should always do in this situation is come clean to your new partner. Whether you’re still in the email stage of the relationship, or if you’re now frequently calling, tell your new partner about your past relationships. This will open up an entirely new door. Your partner will trust you in ways that he or she couldn’t have trusted previously. They will know that you’re seriously committed to a long-term relationship, and want to do whatever is necessary to prevent a premature breakup. Communication is the key here with this initial step in the “coming clean” process.

For men, this venting can prove to be difficult. Guys don’t like to admit any weakness, no matter what it may be. The most important thing that guys can remember about this is that it’s all about your partner here. You don’t want to surprise her with your unfounded jealously or anger. Any fears you have won’t come across as simple insecurities. To the contrary, they will come across as signs you’re not ready for the relationship.

Women don’t usually have a big problem telling their new partner that their last relationship went or ended badly. However, it is still vital that women communicate their feelings to a man on a level that he can understand. Tell your new partner that things could possibly get complicated if you were to approach the same territory. Let him know that any anger or other unwanted emotions will drive you away.

The basic idea here is for you to completely trust yourself to touch on many different emotions. When you’re dating someone online, a lot of what a live relationship has is lacking. You can’t regularly look into the person’s eyes to know what they’re feeling. You don’t always get to hear the inflection in their voice to judge emotion. You can’t smell or touch or feel in ways that you can in real life. Working on your issues preemptively will put you both in the best position to succeed in a relationship. You don’t want to leave anything on the table. Trust yourself completely to make the right choices so your new relationship will last a lifetime.   Back

Dating Options for a Busy Lifestyle and with a struggling economy, unemployment rates at peak numbers, and the regular hustle and bustle of life, it’s hard to find time to meet someone special. Most people are too busy working and trying to keep their heads above water. But there is really no greater pleasure in life than meeting the person of your dreams and having a beautiful relationship. The Internet has made dating really convenient in the past few years. And with the screening processes and personality profiles that most must fill out before becoming a member, online dating is also as safe as it’s ever been. You’re usually paired up with a list of real people who you can mesh with before you even press the search button.

Online dating has a lot of critics out there. Unless you’re one of the millions of people who have found a happy relationship via the Internet, you’re probably sitting there a little skeptical right now. Some people even shun the idea like it’s the ultimate loser’s lounge. Well, don’t let the stigma affect your decision making process. Plenty of happily married couples met online. It takes a lot of the traveling and awkward first dates away and gives you an avenue to actually know a lot about a person before ever meeting. And if you’re new to online dating, here are a few things you should try out:

First, let’s start with the old adage, “Honesty’s the best policy.” No matter how corny it sounds, it’s definitely true. When creating your profile and delving into the online dating scene, you want to be as honest as you possibly can. If you have children, make sure you add that to your profile. If you’re religious and want your partner to be religious also, you’ll have to include that option, lest you’ll meet an atheist and things could quickly turn ugly. Along these same lines, you’ll want to be honest about your hobbies and interests. And if you’re a little embarrassed about telling a lot about yourself, think of it as a job application.

Your wants and needs also need to be expressed. The worst option to ever select on a dating profile is “I don’t know” or “I have no preference.” If you want a guy or gal with brown hair, hey, mark that down. Sure, hair color doesn’t really matter in the end. But by being up front and honest, the person you’ll eventually match with will know that you’re serious about this and not just trying to toy around with some options. You want to be honest about all things like wanting kids, drinking and smoking, etc.

The next thing you want to do is post a picture. Profiles with no pictures are usually treated as spam accounts by everyone. This picture doesn’t have to be overly flattering. However, you still want to pick out something nice and respectable, and make sure it’s not too blurry or out of focus. Online dating starts off very touch-and-go. If you’re hoping to get closer with someone, giving them a proper idea of who they’re talking to is a great way to start.

The most important thing you can do is to be clear about your intentions. If you’re a married person looking to cheat (yeah, it happens all the time), you can seriously hurt a lot of people by not being honest. You shouldn’t be on a dating site in the first place, but the least you can do is not make a victim out of a random person. There are dating sites dedicated to your niche. If you’re only looking for friends, make sure you say so. If you want marriage, click the option. Start off honest and the relationship you forge will stay that way.   Back

Hey, guys, I know how you think. You sign up for a dating site, set your preferences, and begin searching for the hottest females in the group. For the first week or two (maybe even all together, depending on your level of shallowness) you surf the good looking girls. You don’t pay any attention to their likes or dislikes, wants or needs. You don’t see if they have children. You couldn’t care less about their religion or how much money they make. You simply find the best looking girl per your taste and send your little wink or message. Most of your messages go something like this: “Wow, you’re really hot.” I’m sorry, guys. But they’ve heard this a million times over. You might want to try a new approach.

Look, someone has to be honest here. If you were Casanova and had that one-line appeal to land a girl, you wouldn’t be on a dating site in the first place. No respectable woman wants you to come onto her with the corniest line you can think of. If women are on a dating site, odds are they want something real. If they wanted to hear the bar pickup routine, guess where they’d be? That’s right, the bar. If you insist on basing a relationship solely on how the other person looks, you should at least do your homework and find a better way to approach her.

For starters, you could try to cut back on the flirting and compliments and focus more on her interests. Say the girl you have your eye on is into baseball. Hey, you have a win-win situation here. Say she’s a Yankee fan. You could start with something like, “So, is Rodriguez gonna blow it for us again this year?” Or you could even get her attention by saying some like, “Your Yankees are okay, but my Red Sox own you!” This approach is friendly and non intrusive. The woman doesn’t feel like you’re trying to strike up a conversation based solely on her looks. Because trust me, if it’s an attractive female on a dating site, she’s heard every possible pickup line and compliment already.

And honestly, you would be very pleasantly surprised if you began to read her profile. You might find that you have many things in common. Perhaps you have the same taste in music? That’s always going to be a good conversation starter. Or maybe you both have the same religious affiliation. Again, this is a nonintrusive way for you to introduce yourself to her. You might live in the same area or know someone in common. Perhaps you both have the same type of job. The idea here is to keep it light. Think about it like keeping it professional. You want to be nice and cordial, not end up charged with sexual harassment.

This doesn’t only apply for men here. Some women are also shallow and will go for the guys who look the best on the dating site. However, the popular consensus is men don’t mind being hit on. Guys take that kind of thing differently. No matter whom you are, if you’re looking to get to know a little more about someone, you need to come across as a respectful person.

You should also remember that the best looking person to you may not be the best person for you. Don’t just look at the photos of the person; make sure you take time to read their profiles and get to know something about them. You never know, that homely housemaid can turn out to be a real Cinderella once she meets her prince. Never judge the book by its cover.   Back