The Importance of Being Brutally Honest: No matter what you’re doing in life, it’s always in your best interest to start things off on the right foot. You wouldn’t want to forget your supplies on the first day of school. It would be terrible to be late on your first day of work. When you’re starting a relationship, you don’t want to lie to the person and then have them find out later on down the road. No, when it comes to relationships, you want to remain as honest as possible at all times. I know, it’s awfully tempting to tell that special someone what they want to hear instead of what you want to say. But if you’re expecting things to work out in your favor, it’s seriously time to consider the George Washington approach. The not telling a lie thing, not the wooden teeth!

If you’re one of the many millions of people who join an online dating site in hopes of finding Mr. or Miss Right, you have a golden opportunity at your hands to start off and stay on the right path. This isn’t like running in to that really hot girl at the bar. You don’t need to start off with an outlandish lie to get her attention. With dating sites, there are thousands of people who will accept you for you. So when it comes to embellishing and talking yourself up, man or woman, it’s going to cause a lot more harm than good in the long run.

Look, be yourself and that’s all that you can do. If you’re an average Joe, you seriously don’t need to make yourself look like a prince. You would literally be taken aback to find all the many women who are dying to finally meet an average Joe. After all of the so-called princes have lost their charm, a regular guy with a big heart is the person they want to settle down with. And if you’re a woman, don’t waste time trying to be something you’re not. A lot of girls will get their hair done, have an intense makeup session, and hire a team of professionals for retouching, all to post some simple photos. You need to be yourself here and nothing more. Most real men are after normal women.

Being honest also extends to what you want out of a relationship. Let’s say you’ve already found a great profile, sent the initial conversation starter, and now the formal period of getting to know one another begins. You should be clear on your intentions. A lot of times, a girl may say, “I’m looking for something serious,” to that, the guy then adds, “Me too,” simply to let her hear what she wants – and vice versa. This isn’t the way to start a relationship. Odds are that someone will end up getting hurt.

Make sure that you’re also honest with yourself, above all else. You might think that you want to hook up with the first person who comes along, simply to see where it goes. But take your time and be true to yourself. You know exactly what you want. Never try to convince yourself otherwise for the sake of someone else. A big part of online dating is the freedom you have to be in complete control of the circumstances. There are no restrictions and really no one to please but yourself. If someone doesn’t like you for you, simply move on and stop wasting your time.

If you’re honest about yourself and to yourself, the person you meet will most likely be the exact same way. It’s one of those great things about a dating site: Personalities seem to blend perfectly, and that leads to long lasting relationships.    Back

What to Look for in a Profile:There’s no greater feeling in the world than being in love. It’s the most intense paradox in the universe. Stephen Hawking can’t even figure it out. Love is the only thing in the world that can make you feel angry, jealous, elated, anxious, dizzy, sick, and joyful all at the same time. Love can push you away while simultaneously drawing you back in. It’s a crazy thing that no one can seem to master. The best we can do is to go with the flow and hope we experience far more good times than bad. And if being in love isn’t hard enough, the process of finding it can be a life-long journey that some never complete. For those of us looking for love, we need to hit all the right places. A good place to start is an online dating site.

Throw out what you’ve heard and forget about what you’ve thought. Dating sites are the number-one way to meet and stay with the love of your life. And that’s not some selling line for the newest upstart website out there – it’s a solid fact that millions of happy couples can back up with evidence. Dating sites aren’t anything like romance novels or crappy chick flicks. Your eyes aren’t meeting across the room; your childhood crush doesn’t suddenly realize they’ve wanted you all along. There’s a formula to online dating. There’s a strict science behind it.

The formula is all about matching you with someone compatible. After you go through the motions and fill out your personality profile, you’ll be matched with a series of profiles from members who are compatible with you. Sometimes you’ll only have around a dozen or so profiles. But other times there will be hundreds to choose from. What you need to know is what to look for. Follow these three simple rules and you’ll know exactly what to avoid.

Rule number one: Avoid an aloof or vacant profile. What I mean by this is you don’t want to waste your time dealing with someone who hasn’t filled out their information, or has checked the “doesn’t matter/no preference” option on every question. At first, you may think the matching system is a scam due to the fact that someone unwilling to give information was matched with you. But it’s about the personality test they took before filling out their profile, so don’t worry. However, there are some spam accounts that only want to sell you on ad links and/or steal personal info. Be weary of profiles with no information.

Rule number two: This rule follows the same rules as number-one. Only this time, we’re avoiding profiles that have no picture attached. Oh, a picture, what’s the big deal? You’d be surprised what’s hiding behind that blank spot sometimes. There are thousands of guys out there who have a habit of filling out spam-files on a host of different sites. Their goal is to coax women into sending nude pictures and phone numbers over the Net. A good warning sign of these types is having no profile picture. Also, do you really want to waste time getting to know someone who’s hiding something right off the bat?

Rule number three: Avoid the “too good to be true” profiles. This is also a derivative of rules one and two. Let’s say you’re an average guy looking for an average girl. Suddenly, you run across this profile that blows your mind. The woman in the photo is drop dead gorgeous. All of her interests match yours. She’s the same age, lives relatively close, and wants to get to know you right away. Hey, it can happen. There’s also a tunnel that takes you from California to China! It’s true! Seriously, though, this is another way spammers give you viruses and promote their ads.    Back

Making First Contact: So, you’ve scanned dozens of internet dating photos and profiles and you think you’ve found that perfect someone that you would like to spend some time with. Now all that’s left to do is send that all-important first email. After all, you really do never get a second chance to make that first impression. This is you looking at their profile and contacting them – not the other way around. How you come across in your first email will make the difference between a spark that leads to a heated love affair, or a piece of ice dropped on the flame.

Before you decide to send out your first email, read up on some important tips that cover things to say that can really get the ball rolling:

1. Start by commenting on the person’s profile in a positive way. Find out some facts about them. Do they share the same love for a certain sport? Have they traveled some place you’ve been, or haven’t been but would like to go? Are they into cooking? Do you want to learn to cook? You could definitely seize this opportunity and ask for tips? Find something in their profile you have in common and ask them a question about it. Or simply comment on their existing preferences in a positive way that shows you two really something in common.

2. Comment as if you see something interesting in their photo. You don’t want the other to think it’s all about looks. But you also don’t want to neglect complimenting a person’s photograph. Did they take a picture with a dog or cat? Are you a dog or cat person? Ask them what it’s like to own the pet. If you can find details in photos that call attention to things you have in common, your potential date will really appreciate it. Even if it’s something like a hairstyle you admire or the color of their eyes; be sure to drop a subtle line about it.

3. Don’t talk about yourself very much at all. This email isn’t about you – it’s about the other person. Yes, you need to drop hints that you are interested in the same things, but you must sound more interested in them than with yourself. If you want a date, let them know they are attractive and that you find their profile interesting. Ask the person questions or even for advice on a subject. That potential “special someone” will appreciate being made to feel useful and important.

4. It’s an undeniable fact that males are the worst when it comes to being completely straight-forward and honest. A man’s potential partner might ask, “Do you like dancing?” Obviously, the guy will say “Yes,” only to later find out that he hasn’t a lick of dancing ability in his body. The same goes for things like candle lit dinners. Men will proclaim, “Sure, candle lit dinners are my thing,” but then it’s found out that nothing could be further from the truth. We are all perfect as we are and the success to a long and loving relationship is honesty and openness from day one. Advertise yourself as you are, nothing more, nothing less.

Just because you admire someone’s profile doesn’t mean that they’re going to be right for you. No matter who it is, you should always use honesty and integrity when sending someone that first message. Never embellish and never come across as over-confident. You only want to initiate conversation with the other person. You want them to see that you’re interested in getting to know them. The goal is to spark their curiosity and make them want to know you.   Back

This is a Woman’s World and Online dating in 2008 rose to an all-time high in terms of relationships formed via the Internet. For many, creating a profile and getting your name out there is something you do on a whim. Sometimes it’s at the advice of a friend who always seems to know what’s best for you (yeah, right). And sometimes you really want to explore the field and see if you can find something different from the same old bar scene. For women, online dating can be a downright scary thing. No matter how much you read about a person, you’re never too sure if you should trust in what they tell you, or if a check is needed somehow. Most of the time it ends up okay, and that leap of faith can lead to something beautiful.

Women have quite a different approach to online dating. Not that they’re looking for different things. It’s just that they’re viewed differently by men than how they’re viewing men themselves. If a woman is serious about a relationship, she’s not coming online to play games. She already has a basic idea of what she wants, and if you’re not the one who can provide that, no amount of smooth talking is going to get you a date. But as headstrong as some women are, they still have no clue what goes through a man’s head on a dating site.

Any woman searching profiles on a dating site would do good to remember a few things. First off, always make sure to read the profile. It’s no secret in the “guy circle” but women aren’t always aware that men like to embellish with words some things that they can’t necessarily embellish in real life. For example, men are notorious for lying about their wage online. A guy can have a decent job, bring in around $50k yearly, but will still want to impress a lady by claiming that they make over $250k. Sure, this is just a little white lie. But if a guy is going to start off lying, where will it end up? A good first step when profile hunting is to check his claims against the rest of his profile. If he’s basically illiterate, living with roommates, or seems like he’s hiding something with a lack of information, it’s a safe bet that his inflated income is a lie.

Also, be weary of guys who don’t post a lot of pictures. One of the top reasons for only having one photo is that the photo they’re using isn’t a proper representation of how they actually look. A lot of men have been known to use pictures that are decades old. Some even go as far as stealing photos from one dating site and posting them on another. Unfortunately, there aren’t many ways available to find out if their photos are real or fakes. It’s just on the “things to watch out for” list.

Ladies, you also want to avoid guys who seem to be breezing through. What I mean by “breezing” is they won’t submit a lot of information. Their profiles usually read “I’m just a regular guy,” “I don’t know what to say,” “I’m new at this,” etc. Odds are they aren’t new at this. It’s a better possibility that they’re filling out multiple accounts or even spamming to advertize something else. When it comes down to it, you never really know 100% if someone is being truthful or not. The best chance you have is to stick to the men who are free with their lives and don’t mind telling you a lot about themselves. Guys who seem like they’re hiding something are usually hiding something.  Back

Online Dating: Not the Last Resort and isn’t for losers or people who couldn’t find a partner otherwise, I don’t care what some of the criticisms are. Usually, it’s the guy who ended up married to his small-town high-school sweetheart that barks out, “Internet sites don’t work!” You know this guy. He’s the one who’s never been out of his hometown. He’s the one who sits in the bar, deeply depressed, wishing secretly that his life turned out different. Yeah, to be truthful, the people who decide to try Inter-dating are the real risk takers. They’re the ones who throw caution to the wind and decide that meeting someone outside of their own little bubble may be the key to true happiness. Let those small-town sweethearts pretend.

Never let anyone convince you that joining a dating site is the last resort. What’s so desperate about wanting to meet a good, sane, solid person who shares your wishes, values, hopes and dreams? What’s so crazy about wanting to be happy? Your membership on a site should never make you feel embarrassed, nor should you ever hide it away. You’ve finally taken a step forward in your life by deciding that you’re ready for some serious happiness. And don’t worry; it’s on its way.

There are millions of people just like you who are signing up and creating profiles every day. The Web enables people from every corner of the world to stay in touch. It only stands to reason that the Web is also the perfect tool to help people meet and fall in love. A person looking for true happiness would seriously be remiss if they didn’t at least attempt to fill out a profile. Like you’ve heard your entire life, you never know unless you try. And it’s not like you’ll be committed to the first person you see here. Once you take the plunge and try out a dating service, you’re in complete control of everything that happens next.

The first thing you’ll have to do is answer a serious of questions. Yes, these questions can be extremely tedious. By the time you’re on the 6th page of questions, you’ll feel like pressing anything just to be done with it. After you flip through a few pages, you’ll find a lot of the questions are very similar to previous questions. But you should never skip a single question, much less the entire questionnaire. The idea here is to build your personality profile so you can be correctly matched with someone who shares your same personality and values. The more extensive your questions are the better chance you have at finding your perfect match.

The people who create these dating sites don’t just blindly throw a bunch of people into the pool and expect everyone to be compatible. Most site founders have extensive knowledge on relationships, and do even more extensive research on how personalities play off of one another. When a site gives you a match in your mailbox, it’s a good idea to think about contacting this person. They might not look like the person of your dreams, but if you’re serious about finding a lasting relationship, you won’t succumb to those superficial values.

The atmosphere at most dating sites is super friendly. You’ll find that it’s easy to send a shout to someone you may be interested in. And if you’re lucky, they’ll get back to you and you can start getting to know each other. You can also venture outside of your personality and find someone based on your own criteria. But if you’re smart, you’ll let the experts nudge you in the right direction.   Back